Gone but not forgotten

Happy heavenly Birthday!

This is a tribute to my amazing husband as he dances in heaven on his birthday. You would have been 68 on June 4th, instead, you are ageless now and I’m sure you’re having the party of a lifetime. I believe that you will be sharing this day with your heavenly family. It is without a doubt that you have made many friends in your new home. You always had a way of making people either feel accepted or confused by your quirky sense of humor; boy how I miss that and so much more.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t see something, do something or hear something that reminds me you are no longer on this earth. The other day our daughter made what she called “grownup watermelon” and my comment was your dad taught you well. We both smiled and said yes he did. You may not have realized it my dear but you left a legacy behind. Your kindness, unconditional love, deep faith, and willingness to give so freely of yourself has impacted many.

I sometimes see your smile when our grandson smiles, he looks a little like you. It’s crazy sad to think that he will have to grow up with only memories of his pappy. Then there is our granddaughter who is so young and will eventually have to ask what was pappy like. Our other grandchildren at least were at the age they will be able to remember you a bit better. No matter how much time passes you will always be in our hearts.

Who said life is fair?

It’s all too surreal and doesn’t seem fair. But then who said life is fair. We are never guaranteed a tomorrow your death has taught me that. I am learning how to be a wife without a husband, a person without someone to turn to when I need to talk something out. Now I must rely solely on Jesus and his promises that He will guide my every step.

What is heaven like? Can you see us and know that we miss you? Do you know that nothing is the same without you? The truth is that you never realize how good something is until it’s gone.

Moving forward

So my dear as you celebrate your heavenly birthday may you know that I love you and always will. The years we had together have helped make me the person I am today. I will carry you in my heart and mind. I promise to let God grow my faith and teach me to love unconditionally. To bring comfort and hope to others I may meet who find themselves in a season of grief; to find joy in building a life without you. Even though I continue to move forward it doesn’t mean I love you less. It simply means I am learning to lean on Jesus more and more. I have you to thank for that and so much more. I know one day we’ll be together again but until then I promise to live the life you would want me to live.

Happy heavenly birthday and I will love you forever.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6) NIV