As I began my day today I kept hearing this phrase in my head “when life hands you a lemon make lemonade.” So I began to ponder how that fits into what my life looks like now. What benefit would I get if I considered my life to be sour like a lemon? Then I turned to my bible meditation and it reminded me that God is always there. He will never leave me nor will He forsake me. His way and His timing are perfect. He never changes, He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Drawing closer…
I know I have shared many times in my previous postings how I question if I am making the right choices, really following God’s will for my life. These past few weeks have led me to understand that I am on a path that is meant to draw me closer to him. I first gave my life to the Lord when I was 14 and some really bad stuff happened to me. Since then I have always trusted and counted on God to help me in the good times and the bad. Over the years I was blessed to see many true miracles manifest right before my eyes. So I have always felt like I had a close relationship with the Father. But these past 23 months have taught me that my relationship with God was not as close as I had assumed.
As I face each day with a sense of wonder and thankfulness I see now I have only him to rely on. In this dry, grief-stricken season of my life, all I have is my faith in Jesus to keep me going. So as I draw closer to him brings me closer to the Heavenly Father and into a deeper relationship. So it shouldn’t be a surprise when I see his hand at work in my life.
Even If….
Maybe not in the way I had imagined but definitely at work in my life. Even if I don’t see it he is there behind the scene working little miracles every day. When I remember to count each day as a blessing and have an expectancy of hope then I see how he is at work in my life. I often wonder how many times I might have missed his hand at work because I can get caught up in looking for a big earth-shattering miracle. Even though I know that is not how he does things. Not to say that he can’t do that, but I am learning he wants me to see the little miracles each day.
I have been blessed throughout my spiritual walk to be witness to a blind person getting their sight back, a person in a wheelchair for years getting up to walk. I’ve seen a severe 3rd degree burns healed in an instant, cancer cured, and many other ailments. I know that he can do amazing things. But he asks us to believe without those because our faith doesn’t grow and become strengthened by miracles.
Lemonade
I am choosing to make lemonade out of all the mishaps these past 23 months. If I have learned anything it is that my life is in his hands. My God has definitely sent his angels to watch over me and keep me safe. Even if I don’t understand why I am a widow and why I must be in this place alone. I choose to trust that God’s got this and his plan for my life is for good and not dispair. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:1)
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me, and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord. (Jeremiah 29:12-13)
His promises are what I hold on to, his love is what I have to cling to. I believe that is what he is asking me to do. As the whole world is in turmoil he wants me (us) to seek him, to draw closer to “Him”, and to pray and put “Him” first in my life. His grace is what carries me through the day. I am so grateful he sent his son Jesus, who died to cleanse me of my sins. So I can be closer to the Father because knowing he loves me that much is how I cope with Tom’s death and missing him so very much.
Knowing one day I will see him again because God never made a promise that was too good to be true.
Hello, I only recently found your blog. I am not even sure how that happened. I was so touched by your openness and vulnerability. I am divorced and have been for a few years. But I never realized that I had not allowed myself to deal with it until I read some of your posts. They are so uplifting and inspirational. To be honest I was never much of a God person. But I have come to see how important it is to have a relationship with him. I can tell that is how you have been able to deal with such a great loss. Thank you for sharing your story, I do hope you continue to do so.