Much like the artist creates their masterpiece, our Father in heaven is doing the same thing with us. However, there are many days when that thought process doesn’t seem to bring much comfort. So I search my lengthy playlist for the perfect song that will bring back the hope I know that’s buried deep inside my spirit. I know that there will be days that will feel like the cloud cover will not lift, but it is on those days when I do find comfort in leaning into my faith. I also have to admit that most of the time I wonder how this masterpiece will ever become all that he has designed for me to be.
Strong enough
I know that I don’t have to be perfect or strong enough I only need to lean into Jesus. However, if I am being totally honest there are days when that is a challenge. I know that Tom would want me to be happy and live my life to the fullest but some days I just can’t grasp that thought. I have asked myself many times what is my purpose and why am I here? It is not always easy to remind myself that in time the memories will be more of the good times we shared together and not the pain of that fateful day that changed my life forever. When I stop and take the time to look at my life through the spirit-filled eyes then I see how many good things have taken place these last 17 months. The Lord has blessed me with this amazing cottage to live in; I get to see my grandchildren anytime I want to and be a part of their lives as they grow up. In a few more weeks we will welcome a new grandbaby. The Lord is taking care of me just like he promises in his word.
Behold I am doing a new thing, can you not perceive it? {Isaiah 43:19}
As I start my day I remind myself that “this is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it”. After all, I am alive, blessed, and highly favored all the days of my life. Sure I could look at life as though the glass was half empty but what would that accomplish? Isn’t it healthier to look at the glass as half full and see the positive things in life. When I focus my attention that way even in the darkest of times doesn’t mean that when the darkness is hovering overhead that I am happy it simply means that I am trusting God to work it all out.
Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. {Isaiah 40:31}
Permission granted
But with that comes the ability to give me permission to still be grieving. That on the days when that cloud cover hovers overhead it doesn’t mean I have fallen to the dark side, it means I am allowing the hurt to surface and then give it to Jesus Christ so he can heal all the pain. I am learning to face my battles with God. I am learning the importance of staying close to him through his son Jesus Christ. I can see now that my prayers of years ago are being fulfilled. Not at all in the way I had thought but in his way which is far better than I imagined.
Heavenly Father, I thank you that when I am weak, You’re strong. That when I am overwhelmed, You’re holding me close. That when I’m confused, scared, feeling alone You provide clarity and show me the way. Amen
Let me pause for a moment and make sure that any one reading this doesn’t think I have it all together or figured out. Because that couldn’t be farther from the truth. So truth be told most days I struggle to keep my focus on the good in my life. Not because I don’t want to but because it is a challenge. My latest ah ha moment (I’m sure you know what I’m talking about) was that everything I have experienced thus far is meant to draw me closer to the Lord. After all that has been my prayer since I first received my salvation that beautiful day in June of 1972.
Here I am some 45 plus years later and still a masterpiece in progress. I know God is not finished with me yet. With his gentle, loving hand he is molding me in to the person I was destined to be. I may not see it yet but I know that is his plan.
Dear Jesus, hold me close and never let me go. Continue to send your spirit to anoint my life and lead me on the right path. When I stray away may I immediately seek your forgiveness and then accept it and move on knowing that the past is in the past. I thank you that each day I get to start over again with a clean slate. May the God of hope fill me with all joy and peace as I trust in you, so that I may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. {Romans 15:13}
Never to late
It’s never too late to ask Jesus to come into your heart. No matter what you have done in your life he is always there ready to welcome you with open arms. He is knocking so open the door and let him in. It’s a very simple prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. Please forgive me. Come into my life. I receive You as my Lord and Savior. Now, help me to live for you the rest of this life. In the name of Jesus, I pray.
Amen.
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