Muddy waters

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8) God always keeps his promises.

I am so thankful that God is with me every day. He gives me the grace to walk closely with him so that I can maneuver whatever muddy waters flow my way. There are days when the water seems so clear and bright. But there are many other days when that it is cloudy and muddy. If I choose to do it on my own that is when the water seems muddiest. Sometimes I learn quickly that going it alone is not how the Lord expects us to go. We were not designed to travel the pathways of life alone and unprotected. He did not make us that way.

Finding my GPS

When I decide to take a trip somewhere I need to follow a plan and map out my route. Once I am in my car I load the destination into my GPS and head off. If I didn’t set my destination I would drive off aimlessly and probably get lost. It is that way with having Jesus as our GPS. He is the way the truth and the light that guides our path. He is how I have been able to navigate these muddy waters the last 30 months. Leaning on Jesus to guide me is very much like letting my GPS guide me to my vacation spot. If I were to take a detour off what the GPS is telling me then I could find myself lost somewhere I didn’t plan on being. I see life very much like that, if I decide I can do it on my own then when the storms of life are thrown at me it is hard to navigate and I get lost in my thoughts, sadness and depression often over take me. It is only when I shout out to Jesus that I need help that I find peace that no one else can understand. So each day I make it a task to find my GPS and give him the reins of my life.

Hear his whispers

Often it’s a matter of trusting that still small voice deep inside. You know the one I’m talking about. It’s the one that tells you not to do something that could be bad for you, or the one that tells you to call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. For instance it was the voice that told me to not go that way but I didn’t listen and ended up in an accident. Although my car was totaled I escaped with a mild concussion and whiplash. As I share that story I know there are some that say well if God was taking care of you it wouldn’t of happened. Ahh but see sometimes God uses a situation to draw us closer to him. His protection was there because by all accounts I should have been hurt more seriously. He never lets go, he is there through the storms and the calm times. He is faithful and constant he is always with me.

“May the God of hope fill you with all Joy and Peace as you Trust in Him so that you may overflow with Hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

Sometimes I get tired of pretending everything is alright and I refuse to leave my house. I keep reminding myself that this too shall pass. That one day I will feel whole again and able to better control my emotions. I know that I must be patient with myself because that is what I tell others who are dealing with grief. It takes time but time is not my friend. Time does not heal all, it simply forces you to learn to live with a hole in your heart. The loss is always there you just learn to put it in a box.

I declare

My daily goal is to declare that I choose to see life as a blessing and not a curse, and I declare that all that I am all that I have is because I am blessed and highly favored. Now if I can only make sure that stays in my thought process all day long. Those words are so easy to recite but much more of a challenge to hang on too. Since the death of my husband I have had to learn to live being a single person. I have been thrust in to a position of making decisions I never had to make alone. Taking care of things that he would normally take care of. Learning that I have no one to bounce ideas off of, to get another option when a decision needs to be made. I truly am in a whole new season of my life. So I declare that today I will stand on the Lord’s promises that he will bless me and hold me close even if I don’t always feel him. I declare that today God has got this and in the midst of all this fear, unrest, mistrust and disaster he will be victorious. After all his will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

My prayer: Father may your will be done and may you continue to guard, guide and protect me. thank you for the grace I don’t have to earn and the love that is never ending. Forgive me when I doubt you are near and always hold me close. Thank you for the daily miracles you send my way and may I always seek you first. Amen

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May God bless you and give you his peace.