No pain, No gain

I started this posting thinking about pain because I am in such physical pain at the moment. I am reminded of how often I would hear that phrase when I worked with a personal trainer. No Pain, No Gain.

But never did I think that also could apply to my spiritual growth. There is no way one can get stronger physically unless they work at it. So why is it that I think I can have my faith grow if I don’t work at it. Like anything else in life, this is something that I need to attend to daily. It requires discipline and even motivation. Just like eating healthy, exercising, and taking care of oneself. How did I think I could have a deeper relationship with Jesus if I don’t give him the time, attention, and praise he deserves.

Out of the storm

Sometimes it takes a life altering incident to cause us to look up. As humans we don’t typically say thank you, Lord when good things happen. But we surely remember to be angry at him when our life is out of control. I don’t mean for a moment that he had Tom die so I could learn a lesson. What I do mean is that out of that tragedy he will bring goodness. I’ve said all along that I believed there would be a blessing from all this sadness. Even when I have had my doubts, felt alone and abandoned, still somewhere deep inside I believed God would bring blessings into my life. Not only do I have a purpose but that I will see the goodness he has in store for my life.

Don’t get me wrong, there are still many days when I am not sure about any of this. There are days when emotionally I feel so broken I don’t know which way to turn. But then I remember to look up, look up to Jesus. Every time I start a new post I listen for his prompting and as my fingers click away at the computer keys, I wonder who will read this. What plan does he have for this post? How can any of this be helpful to anyone but me?

So I ask myself, what does it matter? Maybe this is all for naught, or maybe one person out there reading this will get a sense of compassion, feel some peace, and know they are not alone. If sharing my pain, sense of loss, and my weakness can be a light for someone else then who am I to question it.

Little Ole me

In my previous post, I ask the question why me? As I sit and write this post I can ask again, why me? Why did you choose me, someone with no clout, no large following, and no real presence to be your messenger? You could have chosen anyone else, yet you chose me. Little ole me, imagine that. I humbly say thank you, because you have chosen me it allows me to grow in my faith. As I walk through this pain, there will be gain. It most likely will not come in any way I can physically measure, but I have no doubt there will be gain.

I don’t proclaim to have all the answers, nor do I feel I am an expert on anything. I simply know that life holds all kind of uncertainty but if I stay close to the Lord, I can conquer it.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” ( Phillippians 4:13)

After all, you can’t have a mountain without a valley. There isn’t spring without first having winter. You can’t have fall without summer. Life is full of ups and downs and how I choose to see the downtimes makes all the difference. Understanding there is no gain without some pain may help this journey through grief taste less bitter.

Keeping it short

My life as I once knew it, is no more. I find myself a single person after 42 years of marriage. Where do I go from here is yet to be determined. But I am learning that each day brings a new opportunity to figure out who I am. Dream new dreams and reach for the stars. Because I believe the Lord has much more in store for me. So I say with a humble heart, here I am Lord, listening and waiting to see where you lead. I will follow.

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May God bless you and give you his peace.