Hello, and welcome to my blog.
I felt God calling me to start this as a way to deal with my grief and My hope is this will help someone else navigate through the grief process. I’ve learned that many people don’t realize “Grief ” comes from different sources. such as a job loss, major move, divorce, separation, and of course death of a loved one. Grief has no time limit and some days you can feel good and other days you feel like you never want to get out of bed. You can feel so overwhelmed that your not sure which way to turn, often isolating yourself from the very people that could help you. I know this because even though I have a great church community, good friends and deep faith in God when things seem to be so overwhelming I find myself hiding in my home.
It was 1 year ago when I walked into my house and found my husband of 42 years dead in his favorite chair. Never in a million years did I expect to come home from work and find this. My life as I knew it has now changed forever. As I made the call to 911 and informed my dispatch to what I found. I managed to stay calm and in control, Once my friend and peer arrived I felt like I could let go and crumbled into her arms and sobbed. Once I gathered my self enough I could call our children and that was the hardest call I’ve ever had to make. Telling them their father was dead was almost more than I could bear.
The next few days consisted of planning a celebration of his life and informing others of his death. Dealing with the many decisions that had to be made often felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders now. I found myself praying through many tears as I maneuvered through this ordeal.
I was surprised by the number of people that came to honor his life. You never know how many lives one touches until they are gone. I don’t believe he ever realized how many people he did touch. As the next days and weeks went by my life became utter chaos. Cleaning up, clearing out and selling or donating our stuff so I could sell the house we had built and move to live with my daughter in Hawaii.
Those months leading up to my move are pretty fuzzy as I try and look back. I am sure I probably gave away things I would have rather kept but things just kept moving along and I would just nod yes. People kept asking me how was I doing. I had no idea how to answer that and I still don’t.
